I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
