My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
