I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize