good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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