I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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