Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
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There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
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Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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