it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
