We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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