Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
