true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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