I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
