hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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