i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
