If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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