Having a random hookup so left but love u
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
