I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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