Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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