I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
