that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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