Everything about him screamed your future.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
