Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize