this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
