Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
