I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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