Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
