from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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