Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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