You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
