the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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