normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Randomize