I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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