You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize