yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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