i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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