Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
