so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
