also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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