do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
