I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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