your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
