weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
