awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
