I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
