We got so high we made milksteak
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
