You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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