Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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