new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
