Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm getting married
To pizza
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
