The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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