yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
