I'm drive I can fine osifer
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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