Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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