did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
