At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's official drugs can't kill me
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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