I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
be right there i have to get my cape
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
