I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
