ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
false alarm. still invincible.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
