drinking out of a sandbucket again
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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