I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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