matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
