I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
